Decide What You Want and Change Your RealityMar 17, 2020
How often do you hear others (or hear in your head):
“I don’t know what I want.”
“I don’t know how to do it.”
“I don’t know where to start.”
And wheels continue to spin without you making any progress.
And because you aren’t doing anything to change your circumstances, your unhappiness with your current state continues.
But you’re in complete control. You don’t have to remain stuck and frustrated with your circumstances because you attract what you focus on.
The more you focus on LACK and UNCERTAINTY, the more of that you will bring into your life.
Decide today that it’s time to focus on you, your values, and what the heck you want out of your life.
Take Control of What You Want in Life
When I hear people say things like “I don’t know what I want” or “I don’t know where to start,” I have to wonder, do you really have no idea at all, or do you just not want to admit it?
Either way, here are some common reasons why you feel like you can’t move forward.
You Don't Know the Destination
It’s hard to build a plan or a map if you don’t know where you’re going. A way for you to make this easier on yourself is to try reverse engineering.
Consider where you want to be and what your ideal reality looks like, then work backward from there.
For example, if you want a healthy relationship with food, you’ll have to work backward to figure out how to get to that reality. Getting there could involve working with a fitness coach and improving your behaviors so they align with your long-term goals.
You may be afraid of what other people will think about what you want or of not doing what you were conditioned to do.
Being afraid of what other people will think of you for your goals goes beyond being embarrassed about having big goals. You may think that your desires are something that not everyone can have, and what makes you so special anyway?
You’re afraid people will see you as “better than them,” and you’re afraid of being excluded for that.
Alternatively, when the fear comes from not doing what you were conditioned to do, you start thinking of things like what your parents expect you to do or whatever identity you currently live by.
It’s scary to move away from what you’ve always done or who you’re conditioned to be, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get past it.
You’re Overwhelmed by Bullshit “Hows”
When you start to think about making a change and going for what you want, your thoughts often sound like:
This will be so hard
This will take a ton of time
This will require a lot of sacrifice
This will go against who I currently am
But will it, really?
If you have a fat loss goal, sure, that’s going to require some time and effort, but it is possible to do it in a sustainable way. In fact, if you don’t do it in a way that’s sustainable, you won’t keep your results.
You have to decide that you are a healthy person who wants to lose fat, and you can start by making small changes to your habits that will add up to significant results down the road.
You’re too Specific
You might be thinking, “nah, girl. I know exactly what I want, down to the specific ideal physique and body weight I want to be at.”
But tunnel vision on a long-term goal is a double-edged sword.
On the one hand, it provides some clarity. But on the other, it takes away from enjoying the process of getting there and potentially being just as happy losing half the amount of weight you originally set out to lose.
Enjoying the process is very important if you’re after sustainable behavior change, so having some flexibility with your goals is important.
Your Main Takeaways
What comes out of your mind and out of your mouth comes into your life.
Be aware of what you say to yourself and out loud to others, and work to change your narrative to better align with your ideal reality. Work towards what you want, even if it doesn’t seem true yet.
When you start believing in yourself and start behaving like the person you want to become, you make that your reality.
You want to avoid disappointing yourself or others, so it’s easy to take the comfortable route, but keep in mind that it will likely still leave you disappointed and maybe even resentful of others who do what you decided not to do. Your fear creates a lose-lose scenario.
Increase Your Self-Control
I really, really encourage you to start thinking about possibilities for yourself and your life rather than falling victim to circumstance.
You deserve better, so you need to show up for yourself.
If you want to master your mindset and learn how mindset plays a role in your willpower abilities, I have a workshop for you!
Click here to learn to feel more confident and level up your self-control and mindset for more success.
Start improving your mindset immediately with my FREE Gratitude for Growth journal prompts.
And remember, you decide your reality. If you want your life to change, you have to make changes.
Check out my original Instagram post here.
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